Even though poor Nate (Chace Crawford)'s storyline about his car accident-plotting foe(s) is gettin' a little sidelined by the rest of Gossip Girl's drama ― just a little thing called a royal wedding and a LOVE SQUARE, no big! ― we are pretty caught up in it... especially after this week's big reveal that Gossip Girl herself is in the loop and playing defense!

Plus, you know, it's NATE ARCHIBALD! The dude's a sweetheart! Who would want to harm a hair on his pretty lil' head?!

All we can figure? Total friggin' jerks, that's who! And we've got a few in mind...

William Van der Bilt
When there's drama in an old-money clan like the vdBs, many-a soap opera has taught us that the first place to look for the culprit is WITHIN. It wasrecently teased that the person responsible for the accident would be found "close to home,” which leads us straight to those infamous Bilts. But while William is hellasketchy and mean-spirited (not to mention allll wrapped up in Nate's current rise to fame), we've never seen him act out against his grandson, have we? And why would he BUY the freakin' Spectator to hand to Nate, if he was just gonna kill him off later? We have some unanswered queries about William's involvement with Diana Payne ― like, you know, WHUH? ― but we have a hard time believing that g-pa would go after his own flesh and blood (...at least when it comes to murdering them).

Trip Van der Bilt
Big scuzzin Trip showed up in eps 9 and 10 to a) beg Nate to bury the story about the fake affair, b) be jealous of Nate’s new favored position with g-pa (remember, the Camp Allen invite?) and c) lash out at William over his lack of support in the campaign. Desperation can lead to bad behavior, and we all know Trip was pretty bummed about being excluded ― but we've never been convinced that Trip is anything but a lil' twerp (coward! weasel!) under the thumb of his ladder-climbing wife. And for all his faults, we've always kinda, somehow, liked Trip, so we'd prefer not to think him capable of this. (If you DO, however, want to go there... Maybe Trip was sending Nate’s car on a “re-route” so that he could intercept William at the airport and go in his cousin’s place?)

Maureen van der Bilt
Then again, all roads may lead to THIS LADY. Let’s face it, of the van der Bilt clan, Mo seems the most likely to be capable of this kind of act. She's proven in the past that she has ZERO qualms with taking part in questionable cover-ups, AND she's willing to do most anything to elevate the status of her husband's political aspirations (or should we say her societal aspirations?). Nate's got info that can hurt Maureen. There's the fake affair, but there's also the car accident (Serena’s, that is). Maybe she's decided it's time to bury (no pun intended...) the stories once and for all?

Max
Or maybe the political duo buddied-up with Ivy's sad-sack ex Max to carry out the dreadful deed? Don’t forget, Max approached Trip on the street in ep 10 hoping to work together, and though we're not sure Max has any sorta axe to grind against Nate (though he is HELL-BENT on Ivy’s destruction), we wouldn't put it past Trip and Cruella de Maureen to manipulate the poor fish-outta-water.

Jack Bass
We're throwin' this out there just because we have no idea how and why the mid-season finale ended like it did. Diana resurfaced ― having found out about the accident from WHO exactly? ― and her first call was to Jack. We think their storyline might have more to do with Diana's connection to the Bass family than the accident, but still, we've a lingering feeling that the convo wasn't totally on the up-and-up... (though we know Diana is, apparently, not involved in the accident).

Dan Humphrey (Penn Badgley) is about to become a major player in the game to win Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester)'s heart!

In the wake of last night's AMAZING Dair-ific teases ― seriously, they totally had us going for awhile with all the sneaking away! ― executive producer Joshua Safran confirmed to E! Online that Dair fans will see the escalation of the plot they've been so eagerly anticipating!

"What I said at the top of the season was this was pretty much going to be a romantic love triangle between Chuck (Ed Westwick), Louis (Hugo Becker), and Blair, and that Dan was going to be more a friend to Blair," Safran said. "This second half of the season, that triangle absolutely becomes a square in a major way. That is where that story is going."

As for pay-off... well, naturally, we won't know for sure until the time comes, but our excitement is building over all the possibilities! We know from what Ed Westwick has been saying about Chuck's "obsession" with Blair that he certainly won't be backing down any time soon. But whose affection will it be that finally tips the scales and has Blair running from the altar?! (Shhh shhh, we know in our hearts she's gonna run, dangit!!)

Something tells us the triangle becoming a square in a "major way" could mean something BIG is on the horizon...

The Upper East Side is soon to be rocked by another of Daniel Humphrey(Penn Badgley)’s literary offerings!

(Cue mixed reactions... Groan? Yippee? Mega-shrugz?)

In this week’s ep, “The End of the Affair?”, we saw that Dan’s book deal was extended to a follow-up and that the poor guy is struggling to find his inspiration (durrrr, we’d be a little conflicted too, after everyone wound up drinkin’ the Haterade on his last work of “genius”...). Though the storyline played second fiddle to Dan’s other drama ― you know, the part where the woman he loves has tied herself to princess-hood in an effort to keep Chuck safe, and OH ALSO, the part where his ex-girlfriend locked lips with him in an effort to “protect” a friend (whatever, S!) ― it’s soon to enter into the action in a much bigger way...

“The second book is a primary part of the second part of the season,” executive producer Joshua Safran told The Hollywood Reporter. “The book that Dan is going to write next is harder for him to discover than the last one. Someone intervenes in an unlikely fashion.”

Hmmm! Does that mean Dan is going to be writing about his friends again? Is B ready to sell her life story?! Is Georgina resurfacing for a tell-all?! Will Gossip Girl reveal all her secrets?! (ARE WE OVER-THINKING THIS?! Personally, we’d settle for a prequel involving the life and times of Derek...)

At any rate, don’t look for the drama that surrounds Dan’s new full-time (?) occupation to wane in any way! Safran confirmed to TV Guide that the follow-up to Inside will be even more controversial than its predecessor, saying, “If his first book ruffled a few feathers, this one will ruffle a lot more.”

Oh my!

Looks like Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester) will be doing more than looking for her own dress at Vera Wang when Gossip Girl returns with a new episode on Monday, January 16!

US Weekly has the scoop on the dresses that B's bridal party are donning in the just-released pics from the royal wedding. It turns out the divine Miss Wang designed 'em all!

Serena's amazing gown is straight outta Vera's Spring 2011 wedding collection. The "Farrah" is a one-shoulder mermaid gown with hand-painted organza and metallic tulle and a long, regal flange skirt. The off-white (light pink?) color is gorgeous on Blake Lively, to the extent that wealmost think the look rivals Blair's! And while we're sure Serena wouldn't mind that, we can't imagine Blair wanting to be upstaged! (No, really, what gives?!)

As for bridesmaids Penelope, Kati and Jessica... if you love the look, you'll be happy to hear it's far more affordable than the average Upper East Side fashion! The dresses ― one-shoulder organza with a billowy,amazing skirt, and an elastic belt ― are from the designer's White by Vera Wang collection for David's Bridal and retail at... wait for it... just $198!! (Bonus: they come in many-a color too!)

And the piece de resistance? Those fashionable fascinators atop each bridesmaid's head! It just wouldn't be a royal wedding without them now, would it?

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